www.GayShawn.com
Snarky... Bitchy... Inappropriate... What's the Problem?
RANTS!
This is a list of things I despise, detest, or just plain annoy me (new entries will be highlighted RED):
Mariah Carey: Her new song Touch My Body is pure SHART!
Obama: Hillary said it best: "Solutions Not Speeches". GO HILLARY!
Transformers: I don't get it. I really don't.
John Travolta: John Travolta is a douche bag. 'Nuff said.
Beyonce: Speaking of impersonators... I can't believe Beyonce has stolen another live performance. First she stole Britney's AMA performance and now she just copied Kylie Minogue's performance from her Fever Tour. Plus she stole Desree's Kissing You without the rights for her B'Day re-release. Atleast Desree had the sense to sue her ass. This bitch needs to be stopped.
Rihanna: I used to think she was cute, but now all I see is a bad Beyonce' impersonator. Bitch... we don't even want the Beyonce' we have... stop it!
CBS: I still have not forgiven them for cancelling The Class. F*CK THEM!
Madonna: Her Live Earth single Hey You is total shit. SHIT.
CBS: F*CK them for cancelling The Class. F*CK THEM!
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: STILL hate this c*nt. Now... she is preggers again! Just what we need... another kid raised to be an uber-conservative hateful idiot.
John Travolta: He claims he is as big as Marilyn Monroe or Elvis. Fat chance. And by "fat chance" I mean you and your big fat ass. Freak.
GayShawn: I am angry with myself for not being more motivated with the site. I am even more upset with myself for actually enjoying Hilary Duff's new cd. What the f*ck is going on with me?!?!?! I need therapy!
Sanjaya: American Idol hopeful Sanjaya aka Mangina doen't just need to be voted off the show... He needs to be bitch slapped by every other contestant on his way out the door. Enough is ENOUGH America!
Madonna: I may like her commercial for her fashion line at H&M, but the clothes are TRAGIC. Cheap, Cheap, Cheap. Hell... even the Kathie Lee collection at K-Mart back in the day was better than this sh*t!
Rosie O'Donnell: I now officially hate this loud mouthed cow! What is it about The View that makes people so unappealing?!?!
Madonna: Once again she releases a "live" cd without any LIVE vocals. Someone should sue her for FRAUD!
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Still hate this c*nt. She is NUTS!
Jennifer Hudson: This little girl is getting too big for her britches! She needs to be a tad more humble.
Christmas: Thank god THAT is over... I am NOT a fan!
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Still hate her.
Denise Richards: I was watching the Billboard Music Awards and she was a presenter. First off she was looked completely like sh*t (as usual)... but the weirdest thing was that she had the shakes so bad she looked like Katharine Hepburn in an earthquake. She must have the DT's. She is a total waste of flesh. Charlie Sheen should stick with the HIGH-PRICED Whores from here on in.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I cannot believe this asshole is my Governor... and do NOT get me started on First Lady Skeletor.
Pushy Demanding People: Seriously... quit the f*cking bitching. I DO have a life outside of this website. I do this entire thing and it COSTS me money every month to keep it up and running.
Job Hunting: It is STRESSFUL. After 8 years of not having to interview... I feel rusty and out of practice.
Beyonce': I just know that as we get closer to the Dreamgirls premiere we will be seeing her fugly ass everyhwere!
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: GOD I hate this f*cking c*nt! HATE HER! She should drop dead on live television and get The View some ratings. Worthless piece of sh*t!
Disney: Now they want you to buy their stupid mobile phone service. Have you seen the commercials? One of the commercials not so subtly implies that you can use the cell phone as a bargaining tool to blackmail your kid into doing chores. The other commercial show how you can track their every move... OOOH Billy just made a left turn on Oak St! Why don't you just have a tracking chip implanted in your kids heads? Here's an novel idea... why don't you raise your kids properly so that you can trust them? Give them morals and teach them honesty and respect... then you won't have to have Disney help raise your kid and keep them in line. Sick.
Beyonce': I hate her. I truly do.
Janet Jackson: I hate her. I truly do.
Big Brother: I am DISTRAUGHT over Janelle's eviction. She should have won! Boogie and Erica do not deserve to be in the final 2.
Beyonce': Every day we get more and more examples that she has blatantly copied another artist. When you steal the entire concept of a Britney Spears performance and record a song that Victoria Beckham has sung you KNOW your career is in trouble! The most telling part is that Victoria Beckham did the song better than you. Shame.
Flavor of Love 2: I caught 10 minutes of this last night. I may NEVER watch television again.
Fergie: This b*tch makes me wanna hit her in the face with a shovel.
Paula Abdul: I may not even be able to watch American Idol this season. She annoys me THAT much!
George from Big Brother: Thank god this freak was finally voted out of the house. He annoys the piss out of me!
Cassie: Sure this lil' R&B princess is cute... but she cannot sing.
Christina Aguilera: Her new album isn't even out yet and I am sick of her.
Beyonce: Her new single Ring The Alarm is horrible. I cannot understand why people think she is the sh*t! She cannot belt... she sings in her whispery coo or tries to run up and down the chords like some Whitney wanna-bee. That ain't singing... and it sure the hell is not close to sanging!
Bad Drivers: How f*cking hard is it to use your directional? I mean really... USE A DAMN TURN SIGNAL! These assholes that are out there switching lanes repeatedly without signaling are gonna kill someone. Then the tears will flow.
The View: Just cancel this shitfest already!
Mel Gibson: Maybe now the world will see him for the hateful bastard that he is.
Old Navy: Their new commercials with the Fash' On jingle are HORRIBLE. "Get Your Fash' On!!!" 
Chicken George: I detest this guy from Big Brother: All Stars. HATE HIM.
Christina Aguilera: She may have a great voice, but she gets on my nerves. Her new single Ain't No Other Man is like nails on a chalkboard for me. Here's a tip Xtina... you don't always have to scream. Bring it down a notch.
Beyonce': Every time I look at her I wanna punch her.
Taylor Hicks: He now has a #1 Billboard single. STOP ENCOURAGING HIM!
Syracuse, NY: White trash hell.
Club Libby Lu: Here's a GREAT idea! Drag your 5 year old girl to the mall and give her a fabulous makeover! Bring her on over to Club Libby Lu! In no time at all she can go from precocious child to Midget Tranny Whore. Fantastic! Blue eye shadow, flaming red lips, and body glitter galore! Pile that makeup on kiddies! Don't forget the bustier and hot pink hair extensions! Sick.
Lazy Assed People: LOOK... if you are going to use a shopping cart, RETURN it to the proper place when you are done! Nothing infuriates me more than people who just leave the cart in the middle of the parking lot. Walk your lazy ass right over to the cart return corral thingie! Do not leave your cart to run free and smash into cars. Ignorant lazy bastards!
Taylor Hicks: I am SO sick of Taylor "Corky" Hicks. His on-stage seizures, clapping for himself, and the yelling of "Soul Patrol" drive me NUTS. HATE HIM.
Rush Limbaugh: The conservative radio assh*le was arrested friday for prescription drug fraud. How is he gonna blame THAT on the Democrats?
The View: As if we didn't have enough reason to hate The View for inflicting Star Jones-Reynolds on us... they are bringing Rosie O'Donnell back to daily television. CURSE them!
Nick Lachey: "I can safely say I have no interest in Lindsay Lohan, nor do I understand anyone else's." -- in a radio interview with the Charlotte, North Carolina-based Ace & TJ Morning Show. The fact that you are on a radio show in NC says volumes about your career pal. You can only get so much mileage whining about your divorce.
Jamie-Lynn Sigler: Unattractive and Un-talented. Hate her!
Skinny Legged Jeans: All of the teeny Hollywood starlets are sporting these. UGLY!
Chain Emails: If I get ONE more stupid email in my inbox about a missing amber alert kid or gas boycott I will murder someone. Here are the facts:
- The email about the missing child is FAKE. Penny Brown (or whatever the name is on each email) is NOT missing. Penny Brown does not exist. If Penny Brown was missing the odds of finding her by sending out crap emails is nil. STOP IT.
- Not buying gas on a certain day will not prove anything to the oil companies. It will just inconvenience YOU.
- Bill Gates will not send you a check for forwarding emails. They cannot track emails. WHY would he give you money for being annoying? It is not like you are Paula Abdul or anything.
- There is no serial rapist that is putting paper on your back window to try and get in your car when you get out to remove it. You will not wake up in a bathtub with a missing kidney if you let the girl at the mall spritz you with perfume.
American Idol: Mandisa was voted off last night. WHat the F*CK was America thinking?!?!?! I may just stop watching now.
Parents Television Council: One of the biggest bullshit groups EVER! They decry all of the "indecent" television show (while providing video clips and detailed summaries of the shows) and ask the government to help! Excuse me? Be a f*cking good parent and monitor what your children watch! Don't try to dictate what I see on television. Be the guardian of your own kids. If they are watching indecent television isn't that really more of a commentary on your OWN parenting skills? SAD. And another thing... this whole "campaign your senators" thing is SCARY! The LAST thing this country needs is more government intrusion on free speech and our civil rights! "Help us Big Brother! Protect us!" F*CKING MORONS!
Mitch Hurwitz: He just quit Arrested Development thereby killing it's contract with Showtime. THANKS Mitch!
American Idol: They just signed Paula Abdul to a 3 year contract extension. BOO! Vote HER off!
Unan1mous: The Fox network is at it again! Why would ANY of these losers deserve 1.5 million dollars just for going down in an underghole? Saddam lived in an underground hole for months and we didn't give him his own reality show.
The LOOP and Free Ride: Who greenlit these piece of sh*t tv shows?
Paula Abdul: I cannot STAND her anymore. I only watch American Idol after I have Tivo'd it now so I can fast forward anytime she speaks. NOTHING she says is constructive or worth anything. I keep praying that Simon will lose it and punch her with a closed fist on national television.
Half Shirts: Ladies... all you have to do is look at Mariah to realize this is BAD. Unless you are under the age of 12 half shirts should NOT be part of your wardrobe.
The Oscars: Just plain BORING!
Freegans: These are people who will ONLY eat out of the garbage or dumpsters. Just plain sick! Click HERE for more info.
Flightplan: I expected better from Jodie Foster. much better.
The Brittenum Twins: These contestants from American Idol are pissy little whiners! Thank God they will be off the show because they are criminals!
The Pink Panther: Steve Martin murders a classic.
Snow and Cold: Can we just have spring now?!?!?!
Tempest Bledsoe: I used to think she was adorable, but after watching her on Celebrity Fit Club I realize she is nothing but a bitch with a bad attitude. Vanessa Cosby I am ashamed of you!
Mariah Carey: The silly b*tch has a dictionary on her website of "Mariahisms". Cutesy little phrases that Mariah uses. Excuse me while I puke; My Lambs...
Groundhog Day: Well the groundhog saw his shadow ONCE again (couldn't be all the camera lights could it?) and we get 6 more weeks of winter. F*CK that furry little rat.
Award Shows: We are overloaded with these right now and they are all pretty much boring. How much self-congratulating can Hollywood handle?
Green Eye Shadow: I saw 2 (YES 2!) girls wearing green eye shadow this week. Mind you these were 2 seperate sightings. This is just WRONG.
Wholesomewear: Christian Swimsuits? Are you f*cking kidding me with these styles?
Political Correctness: Per E! online... GLAAD responding to remarks made by Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson on American Idol, stating that the judges' quips, which included asking a male contestant if he was a girl, were offensive to the gay community. Ummmm HELLO! I am part of the gay community and I was in NO way offended. I also do not recall ever asking GLAAD to speak for me. This political correctness thing is ridiculous. Everyone spends SO much time being offended these days.
Perms: When will people learn?!?!?!?!? Enough with the fried crispy ringlets! I swear I saw a woman at the grocery store today that looked JUST like this:
Burger King: The commercials with the plastic looking Burger King freak me out.
SNL: Will it ever be funny again?
Celebrity "List" Shows: I am getting a tad tired of the shows that count down the sexiest celeb bodies, biggest breakups, celeb perks, etc... I am addicted to celebrity, but enough is enough with these shows. It is overkill.
Christmas: Thank god that SH*T is over! Now everyone get out there and take down the damn decorations!
Beyonce': Just saw a clip of her new video Check On It. I wish she would act like the other girls in Destiny's Child and just GO AWAY!
Sweat Pants with Elastic Ankles: These should be outlawed. NO ONE should ever wear these... especially in public. Especially if you are a middle aged overweight man with a habit of not wearing underwear. Especially if you are in my line of vision.
Elton John: The Queen got married. Good... now please SHUT UP!
Howie Mandel: He is hosting Deal or No Deal on NBC. How does this moron keep getting work?!?!?
Britney & Kevin: On again... Off again. Stop teasing us white trash!
Freddie Prinze Jr.: I saw about 10 minutes of an episode of his shit-com Freddie this week. Why do we keep rewarding his poor acting ability with jobs?!?!?!
Sarah Michelle Gellar: She just signed to star in a sequel to The Grudge. Wasn't the 1st one sh*tty enough!?!?!?! Do we need a sequel?
Kanye West: Love that he talked sh*t about George W... but this guy is WAY too cocky for his own good. Yes Kanye... Jesus Walks... but you don't walk on water so pipe down.
Mariah Carey: She got nominated for 8 Grammy awards. Well ain't that FREAKIN' GREAT... this will just encourage her to continue running around with her thighs and tits exposed. Let's all make a New Years Resolution and try not to encourage any more of her bullsh*t shenanigans ok?
Madonna: Her album Confessions on the Dance Floor is the #1 album in america. Too bad it isn't very good.
Snow: I know I should not really complain because no one is making me live in Upstate NY, but I have to say I really do not like the snow.
Oprah: So she finally went on Letterman. Big f*cking deal. He is too good to have spent the past gazillion years kissing her ass trying to get her on the show.
Fat: So I went to see Kathy Griffin at Syracuse University on Friday and was in the 3rd row. My rant has NOTHING to do with Kathy; as she is brilliant. I have to talk for a minute about the fat. The first 2 rows of the show were reserved for the Syracuse University Pride Agenda. This consisted of about 40 guys who were probably 18-22 years old. Not ONE of those boys could have weighed more than 110 pounds. They were all very fun and stylish and unbelievably thin. Thin to the point where they were all elbows, wrists and hip bones. I hate them. I hate them for making me so insanely jealous that I am not that thin. Damn you fat! Damn you to hell.
Fox: The network trimmed the order for it's ratings challenged comedy Arrested Development from 22 episodes to 13. This is the nail in the coffin kids. It is OVAH!
WalMart: I despise this mass merchant white trash carnival. I truly do.
GayShawn: I have no one to blame but myself for my recent trip to WalMart. Will I ever learn?
The Fog 2005: It is STILL bothering me how bad this movie is.
Warner Brothers: They have decided not to release the film version of Strangers With Candy. They can eat me.
Madonna: There is such a thing as TOO much promotion. Tone it down a bit!
Black Eyed Peas: Their new single My Humps is beyond ridiculous. It is not even a song really. Just bullsh*t lyrics over a lame beat. I mean seriously... here is a sample of the lyrics:You love my lady lumps... I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump. Lady Lumps? What the f*ck.
Nielsen Families: Their continued ambivalence towards Fox's Arrested Development will soon rob us of television gold. I am sure cancellation is imminent. Damn Them!
Fox: They are canceling the upcoming season of The Simple Life due to Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie's "refusal to end their public feud," Us Weekly reports. "We did not see a place for The Simple Life on our schedule this season," the net says. I think it would make for FANTASTIC televison!
Mariah Carey: Mariah Carey reissuing The Emancipation of Mimi this fall with four new tracks, including her new single "Don't Forget About Us." The new version of the disc is due in stores Nov. 15. WHY WHY WHY?!?!?! Stop bottom feeding Mariah!
Janice Dickinson: I watched the season finale of The Surreal Life last night and I have to say I am thankful it is over. I do not want to see Janice Dickinson on TV anymore. She is deranged and her constant need for attention is physically and emotionally draining. You may be the "world's first supermodel", but you have evolved into a sad piece of work. Get some therapy wacko!
Inside The Actor's Studio: This show just needs to STOP. It was bad enough last season had Jennifer Lopez on (ummm are we calling that acting now?) but this season kicks off with Elton John... Ummm aside from Tommy what else is there? His cameo in Spice World? Attention James Lipton... Elton John is NOT an actor!
NBC: Why are all of NBC's shows turning into nothing but commercials? 3 times last night I saw bizarre product placement that just reeked of paid corporate advertising. One example... Will and Grace: Rosario takes out a Subway Chicken Parm sub, mentions it by name and takes a bite. At the commercial break we see (surprise!) a commercial for Subway's Chicken Parm sub. Same thing with The Apprentice. When the cab comes to take the fired contestant away it has a banner ad on top of it for Yahoo Jobs. The very next commercial is for Yahoo jobs. Clearly NBC has received payment for this... it is way to coincidental.
Velvet: I have never really been angry with a fabric before...but after seeing Star Jones-Reynolds in purple velvet I may actually boycott it!
Star Jones-Reynolds: Once again sucking celebrity ass on the red carpet at the Emmy's. Where the hell did half her questions come from? She asked Camryn Mannheim what her father (who is a math teacher) would say to her when she asked for the car keys as a teen. Excuse me? Are you on crack Star? Just ask who she is wearing and then blow smoke up her ass about how much you love her.
Ivette: I cannot believe she brought Maggie to the finals with her...it hopefully will blow up in her face.
MTV VMA's: What a wast of 2.5 hours. The show sucked and host Diddy has all the charisma of a box of tampons. Blech.
Diddy: This guy is a SUPREME egomaniac... P. Diddy has dropped the P. from his name. He also held a press conference to make the announcement. What a psycho!
Kimberly Stewart: She sent flowers to Jennifer Aniston and apologized for calling her "homely" in an interview. Aniston told Vanity Fair that she was "very hurt" by the comment. It amazes me that Kimberly Stewart has the balls to call ANYONE "homely"! She is HIDEOUS.
Ivette: This Big Brother contestant drives me NUTS! HATE HER!
Oprah: "The Oprah Winfrey Show: 20th Anniversary DVD Collection," set for release in November, is a multidisc compilation of highlights from the show's two decades on the air. "Every show you'll see here holds such profound meaning for me," Winfrey said. HATE HER!
So You Think You Can Dance?: The creators of American Idol are "about to do for dancing what they did for singing". Ya think? Does anyone remember American Juinors? Stop bastardizing your brand.
RockStar INXS: LAME. Let it die already.
Lindsay Lohan: She is pretty... PRETTY F*CKING UGLY that is! Oh and Linds...by the way...if you keep comparing your acting skills to Jodie Foster's I will drive to Hollywood just to slap you! You are NO Jodie. Not even close.
Madonna: If you are at Live 8 promoting awareness of starvation and poverty in Africa... should you be draped in diamonds? Selfish ignorant cow!
Charlotte Church: I keep reading these comments she is making in interviews and let me tell ya she is a total bitch!
The Tony Danza Show: This CRAPTASTIC show has a backup plan to replace Tony Danza with Gloria Estefan if the ratings don't improve. Kill me now!
Las Vegas: Lara Flynn Boyle has been hired to be the new lead in the 3rd season of this show. HATE the show, but LOVE Lara Flynn. What to do!?!?!?!?
Tom Cruise & Oprah: Have I mentioned that I HATE both of them??
Disney: Disney officially announcing plans to debut its long-in-the-works stage musical version of Tarzan next spring on Broadway. The production will also feature songs by Phil Collins. And people say Americans have NO culture. Lord help us all!
Pink: Us Weekly reporting that Pink proposed to longtime boyfriend, motocross racer Carey Hart, over the weekend. No word yet on a wedding date. I though Gay Marraige wasn't legal... what? Oh... Pink is a girl? Are you sure? Seriously? Oh well.
Oprah: I hate her. She is claiming discrimination because the staff at Hermes in Paris would not let her in to shop when she arrived after the store had closed. Now listen Oprah... they would not let ME in after hours so why should YOU be allowed? Smug bitch. You can read the story here.
Hillary Duff: I saw her on Leno this week. She is NOT cute. Not even close.
NYC Pride Parade: Ok so I stood there for 5 hours watching the Gay Pride "Parade". I am not sure what 90% of the parade had to do with "gay pride". It was a bit too commercial for me. All of the floats were basically corporate ads. I mean seriously... an Altoids float? I appreciate the 1/2 naked guys in little white altoids panties handing out samples, but COME ON.
Tom Cruise: We GET it already...you are "In Love"... now just STOP IT!
Eddie Murphy: Where the hell has he been? Aside from Shrek/Shrek 2 has he made a movie for adults worth seeing in the past 5 years?
Penn Jillette: The comedian-magician and his wife had a baby girl which they promptly named Moxie CrimeFighter. Are ya kidding me with this?
Steven Seagal: 2 seperate production companies are suing the action "hero" for $14 million for causing production delays on two movies, Today You Die and Mercenary. Who do WE get to sue for the movies he has completed?
VaginaLady: Sweet Jesus! Take a deep breath to prepare yourself and then click HERE.
Six Flags: I HATE those commercials with the old man...CREEPY!
Gwenyth Paltrow: She will be the new face for Estee Lauder cosmetics. Ewwww!
Paula Abdul: I officially wanna slap her after watching her tonight on American Idol. I will go on record with that.
American Idol: So Carrie Underwood won. The big news is that I could have given 2 shits. What a boring year this year on A.I!
Shannen Doherty: UPN fired her as the star of its new fall sitcom, Love, Inc., claiming it was going in a "different creative direction with the show." Which basically just means that all the rumors are true and she is a HUGE bitch
Marc Anthony: He has Jennifer Lopez's name tattoo'd on his wrist. This pretty much ensures it will end in divorce. As if the man was not ugly enough without a horrid prison tattoo. Tacky.
Pat Robertson: The religious right leader said on nation-wide television...he said and I QUOTE: "the threat posed by liberal federal judges is probably more serious than a few bearded terrorists who fly into buildings." How DARE he!
Corey Clark: He is just a JOKE. If Paula really did sleep with you, I hope she has a good doctor... you are Mucho skanky!
Stacked: This steaming pile of horsehit on Fox got RENEWED for a new season. WHAT a joke.
Tara Reid: This mess is in negotiations to host a revival of the E! show Wild On. The show takes a look at nightlife around the world. She may be completely appropriate to host this show, but SHAME on E! for encouraging her.
Paula Abdul: I love her, but last night on American Idol she just appeared CRAZY!
WalMart: That’s right. Alice Walton just spent $35 million on a painting while a large number of Wal-Mart workers are left without any health insurance. For that price she could have purchased health insurance for 10,000 Wal-Mart employees who now lack coverage. It’s hard to believe, but sadly that is the “Wal-Mart Way.”
Fairuza Balk: LOVE her as an actress, but she is looking a tad scary lately...
GayShawn: It is 10pm on a Saturday night and I am going to bed. I am a LOSER 
Fox: The Simple Life IS Paris and Nicole... it is NOT going to work with Kimberly Stewart. Just end it!
Tom DeLay: This man is SO wrong it isn't even funny... He needs to go NOW!
Elton John: NOW I know why people are so afraid of gays getting married! This is gonna be the tackiest wedding this side of Liza Minelli's freakfest. Lord help us...armageddon is COMING!
Jennifer Lopez: She is quoted in US magazine as saying: "I came from virtually nothing, so there was a time when I was like, I can have that car or I can have that coat...But then you get to a point where you want to strip down, to go back to something simpler." A car or a coat?... are you kidding me here? She is beyond ridiculous! JUST shut up!
Julia Roberts: She was named tops on People Magazines 50 most Beautiful People list. What the f*ck are THEY smoking?
She looks like a BAD drag queen! Nice cheek blush JULIA!
Mariah Carey: She has announced that she is writing a series of children's books called 'Automatic Princess' about the journeys of a mixed-race orphan girl and drawing from Carey's own childhood. I may very well vomit.
Stacked: This Pamela Anderson "Sitcom" on Fox is beyond awful. I hereby christen it a "SHITCOM".
Rosie O'Donnell: She starred in the CBS movie... You know what...forget it. This is too easy.
Wal Mart: this is MIND blowing! Check out this website: http://walmartwatch.com/home/pages/watch_out_wal_mart_our_campaign_is_underway
Lindsay Lohan: Somebody broke into her LA home while she was out of town filming Just My Luck. The thief stole a dvd player, a 42" tv and a 64" tv. Lindsay was quoted as saying "Thank goodness it was things that were replaceable and not a life that was taken". Yes Lindsay, THANK GOD. It's just our luck that you were not home at the time. DAMN DAMN DAMN!
American Idol: WHY WHY WHY is Scott still there?!?!?!?
Lindsay Lohan: Lindsay...if ya want people to STOP talking about you...STOP making us! Nice job with collagen lips!
Scott Savol: I could not be more disgusted by him if I tried. He is repulsive.
Jennifer Lopez-Anthony: She is a total MESS! What the F*CK is that dress about?
Pamela Anderson: What the hell is the matter with her lately? She showed up at a M.A.C. Cosmetics (She is the new face of M.A.C.) event looking like a bad Dolly Parton impersonator. Truly sad.
Britney Spears-Federline: Variety reporting Britney Spears and her husband, Kevin Federline, are set to star and host their own reality series as a response to tabloid reporting on their marriage. The UPN network will likely debut the yet-to-be-titled show next month.
Michael Douglas: Dude...if you are going to get a face lift atleast wait for the cuts to heal before heading out for a night on the town! Be subtle.
Mariah Carey: OK...the HUGE implants are distracting enough, but what is the deal with all that bronzer?!?!?! You are trying TOO hard to be Beyonce' these days.
Demi Moore: Ummm I think all that plastic surgery is catching up to ya Demi! You look awfully SEVERE lately...
Catholocism: So let me get this straight...the NEW Pope is "MUCH MORE CONSERVATIVE" than his predecessor? How is that even humanly possible?
Lindsay Lohan: Apparently she sprained her ankle on the set of an "un-named" movie. My guess...home made porn.
Benicio Del Toro: In an interview with Esquire magazine he says he cannot remember if he had sex with Scarlett Johansson in an elevator at last years Academy Awards. DUDE...never admit to sleeping with a skank!
Ruben Studdard: When your latest project is guest starring on the Fox "sitcom" Life On A Stick I think it is safe to say your career is OVER!
Britney Spears: She stopped by her Dad's restaurant for a visit...and proceded to scratch her ass. She is classy.
Scott Savol: This American Idol contestant is just plain disgusting. Oh and Dude...you are NOT ghetto!
Jennifer Lopez: Her new album After-Birth is tanking. GOOD!
Robert Blake: Take a good look kids...this is the face of CRAZY!:
Pamela Anderson: Are you supposed to wear a bra under a corset? And just look at that stomach...NOT flattering!
Mariah Carey: From MSNBC.com: On this severely cold March night, Mariah Carey is inside a studio at MTV taping an interview for an upcoming broadcast. Walking out of the studio, she is heard muttering to no one in particular, “The abuse I endure is never-ending." Minutes later, ensconced in one of the cable network’s many conference rooms, Carey smiles and laughs. “I’m a little dramatic at times,” she says, referring to the “abuse” comment. “I know, I know, it’s tough to believe. But it’s true.” Sure Mariah... You are abused. Did you ever stop to think about the abuse you inflict on all of us by sticking around? selfish, selfish, selfish.
Melanie Griffith: Enough is enough Melanie! We cannot take it anymore!
Scarlett Johansson: Such grace, style and class...and at SUCH a young age! PUKE. She is 1/2 a step above being inbred.
Robin Williams: I would pay GOOD MONEY to see someone beat him with a metal bat!
American Idol: OK..I am going to go on record and say that it SUCKS a big one this year. I have NO interest!
Michael Jackson: This baby dangling pedophile will get off. I can feel it in my bones. SICK SICK SICK!
Jennifer Lopez: Her new album After-Birth came out yesterday... what a steaming pile of horseshit this thing is!
Michael Jackson: Unless you are trying for an insanity plea DO NOT wear pajamas to court. It is creepy.
Robert Blake: I saw a report on the news that one of the jurors commented on how devastated and sincere he seemed in court. HELLO! He is an ACTOR! He killed his wife after repeatedly trying to get others to kill her. What the hell is this world coming to?
WalMart: Why do I even bother?
Lil' Kim: Instead of being found guilty of perjury isn't her real crime that awful plastic surgery? That does far more harm to the community at large than her lying ever could.
Jennifer Lopez-Anthony: Ok..I did not want to say anything immediately after the Grammy's...I wanted it to sink in for a few days. Now that it has all I can do is sigh and hang my head. She is tone deaf and has not met a key she could not mangle. Sweet Jesus never sing live again! We are OK with you lip synching...we promise!
Star Jones-Reynolds: OK..MTV.Com reports that Star changed outfits because she had a wardrobe "malfunction" during the broadcast. Apparently she popped her first dress at the seams and had to change right on the carpet with the crew holding up a tarp to shield onlookers. That explains why she was wearing the capri pants and orange 1/2 shirt. I find it hilarious that the fat assed mess actually split her dress at the seams! Too bad it did not happen live and fall right off!
George Michael: He has announced he is quitting pop music (see Breaking News page for details). This is just sad sad news...We will get new music from Ashley Simpson, Hillary Duff and probably even Kelly Osbourne but George Michael quits? Popular Music as we know it is in the toilet!
Shania Twain: She apparently will be getting her own perfume line from Stetson. Are ya kidding me here? I thought Sarah Jessica Parker's perfume for Coty was low rent. What is Shania's gonna smell like? A horse trailer?
Dolce & Gabbana: They have broken up as a couple. They claim they will still be professional partners though. Sad!
Michael Jackson: After watching the latest Prime Time Live special and reading the grand jury testimony on www.thesmokinggun.com I am convinced this freak is a pedophile! When a 12 year old boy can accurately describe markings on Michael Jackson's penis and describe the angle it takes when erect there can be NO question. Lock this freak up for LIFE. Any parent that let's their child stay with Michael Jackson should be charged with child endangerment.
Madonna: Apparently her next album will be "heavy on guitars" and be rock edged. Mirwais is still producing (GAG!!!). Nothing like jumping on the tail end of that Avril Lavigne/Ashley Simpson/Kelly Clarkson/Anastacia rock phase Mo!
Ashley Simpson: She kicked off her first headlining tour in Anaheim this week. Opening-night reviews were bad to charitable; attendance, per one report, was spotty. Ashley....sweetheart...TAKE A HINT!
George W. Bush: You know he will be the end of the world right? Just checking....
American Idol: I am usually obsessed with this show, but last night was the guys first turn to perform and the most I can say I attained from it was bored indifference. If things don't get more interesting I may be ending my run with this show...
Michael Jackson: You know he is a pedophile right? Just checking...
American Idol: NOT good last night. There were only 3 girls out of 12 that sounded good. I hope we see massive improvements or I may have to quit watching all together.
Star Jones-Reynolds: I was off from work yesterday and caught a few minutes of The View. I swear just looking at Star makes me want to punch her.
Downtown Julie Brown: Former MTV personality "Downtown" Julie Brown is suing ABC for $500,000, claiming she was left scarred after sitting in a tub of leeches during a 2003 episode of I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here. Ok...who do I sue for being scarred while watching Julie Brown on TV in the 80's? Wubba Wubba Wubba? Give me a freaking break!
Star Jones-Reynolds: Oh no she did NOT plug her Payless shoes on the red carpet at the Oscars! She is tactless and horrid.
Hillary Swank: Did she need to ice her nipples up before she walked the red carpet? Just asking...
Beyonce': So not only do we get to spend 4 hours watching the Academy Awards...but we get to see her perform 3 (3!!!!!!!) times! God help us!
Jennifer Lopez: J.Lo has admitted that she has a bit of a negative public image...But she reckons that it's only the result of her taking on some not so nice characters in her film career.The singer/actress claims that the public are obviously having difficulty distinguishing between her and the characters she plays, according to Teen Hollywood. Jennifer believes that films such as Angel Eyes and Out Of Sight have created an unwelcoming public persona... (and then there's Gigli)."I think people get the wrong idea because of the roles I've played."I've played a couple of cops, a couple of killers and that seems to have put some people off," she said. Actually J. Lo, I think people hate you just because you are YOU. A total diva bitch without the talent to back up the attitude.
Sarah Jessica Parker: She is developing a line of fragrances with Coty Inc., the company announced Tuesday. The premiere fragrance, debuting this fall, "will reflect Sarah's talent, style and confidence of which she has become a symbol." Excuse me.... did you say Coty!?!?! Could you get any more low class? Sarah PLEASE do not sell out!
Tony Danza: The actor's syndicated gabfest, The Tony Danza Show, picked up for a second season, according to its distributor, Disney-owned Buena Vista Television. Has anyone ever seen this steaming pile of crap? I wouldn't pick it up with 3 pairs of gloves on!
Elton John: Sir Elton John has vowed to marry long-term lover David Furnish - as soon as the law changes in Britain. He is worried that people will be after his estate after he dies. Ummm Elton...who wants your tacky clothes, furniture and wigs?
Burt Reynolds: What the F*CK has Burt done to his face?!?!?!?
Courtney Love: She was sentenced to three years of probation after pleading no contest to a charge of felony assault with a deadly weapon on singer Kristin King during an altercation last April. Love is expected in court again later today for a pretrial hearing on a felony drug-possession case. She has pleaded innocent to the charge. Innocent? Come again Courtney? How is this b*tch not in prison??!?!?!? You know they gave her kid back right? What a freaking mess.
Tom Sizemore: See my Breaking News section for the latest on this loser. What a waste of a life. He needs to just be sent to prison.
Britney Spears: Sweet Jesus the end of the world is coming! Britney won a Grammy! That HAS to be a sign of the end!
Star Jones-Reynolds: Ok..I have to admit she looked pretty good at the beginning of her Red Carpet interviews for the Grammy's. 1/2 way through she lost the pale pink gown and ended up in an orange 1/2 shirt and white pants. What the HELL was she smoking? She looked classy before and even had the good weave in...why would she change 1/2 way through? I have also had about as much as I can take of her ass-licking every celeb out there.
Jordan Bratman: Christina Aguilera is to marry her high-flying music exec boyfriend. The singer's agent has confirmed Jordan Bratman proposed while the couple were on holiday - and she said Yes! Congratulations Jordan you just won a lifetime supply of syphillis!
Oprah Winfrey: She will keep her show running till 2011. 6 more years?!?!?! At least Bush leaves us in 4. Oh and Oprah...take your crap magazine with you when you go!
Michael Jackson: This freak will FINALLY be getting his day in court! Jury selection has begun.
Reality TV: I have a fantastic idea for a reality show. It will be a celebrity version of the ABC drama Lost. Let's fill a plane with celebs... (I was thinking: Star Jones-Reynolds, Oprah, Tara Reid, Beyonce', Mariah Carey, Anna Suckhole Smith, Pamela Anderson Lee Anderson, Avril Lavigne, Robin Williams and maybe George W. Bush.) and cause it to explode over the ocean and then we can watch these celebs try to survive with NO help from us! Who's on board with this idea? PLEASE!
The Jackson's: Michael's family needs to QUIT defending this pedophile already!
Jennifer Lopez: Her upcoming album, Rebirth, will be released simultaneously as a standard CD and a DualDisc on March 1. GREAT! We can buy the regular version or the 100% more CRAP version! I think she should call this after-birth, cause it will be messy and disgusting.
Tara Reid: She continues to complain that the tabloids are making “a cartoon” of her. Her infamous boob-baring dress, she says, was “a mistake.” Actually the BIG mistake is that you have a career at all Tara!
The Groundhog: Well according to him we get another 6 weeks of winter. How sad is it that an animal can predict the weather more accurately than a trained meteorologist?
Ashley Simpson: She will begin rehearsing on Tuesday for her first-ever tour, which launches next month. WHY ASHLEY WHY!?!?!?!
George W. Bush: His State of the Union speech was total horseshit. 4 more years of THIS nonsense? God help ALL of us!
Madonna: She will be making a guest appearance on UPN's new reality show, The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliot, on Feb. 16. The Material One will meet with the final five performers and share with them some valuable advice on the music biz. Maybe she can offer advice on how to make a CRAP album like American Life.
Joey: I watched the Friends spinoff last night. What a piece of crap this thing is! Awful acting, horrid dialogue, BAD SHOW.
Star Jones-Reynolds: She worked the red carpet for the Screen Actor's Guild Awards. This tired heifer just needs to QUIT. She is akward and offputting. I have a feeling people actually prefer Joan Rivers telling it like it is VS. this suck ass fest! What a joke.
Fox DVD: WHY do we not have Valley of the Dolls on DVD yet?
Mariah Carey: In an interview with MTV Mariah coos : "For the first time in my life, I feel free and unashamed to be who I really am, I am celebrating that I've grown into a person and artist who no longer feels imprisoned by my insecurities. I can now honestly say, 'This is me, the real me, take it or leave it.' " Well....That is surely a tough decision. Hey Mariah can we have a minute to deci....We'll leave you!
Penelope Cruz: Apparently she was attacked as well by some thug trying to smash her car window in and steal her purse. Her limo driver drove off before he succeeded. I feel just as bad about this thugs lack of success as I do about Christian Slaters. Come on people focus!
Beyonce': She is planning a new release — her own fashion collection. The Destiny's Child singer has signed a licensing agreement to produce a line of apparel for young women. She named the collection The House of Dereon after her grandmother Agnes Dereon. Her mother Tina Knowles will design with her. If you kids need a peek into Tina's fashion sense check out this little number she designed: 
Gold Lame' Shorts? COME ON Tina! Oh and P.S.: NICE WEAVE Beyonce'!
Faye Dunaway: The aging actress is set to star in the WB's upcoming reality series Starlet, where she'll put wannabe actresses through a Hollywood boot camp. The winner will receive a management deal and a one-shot guest appearance on One Tree Hill. How exactly does getting a one-shot guest appearance on a WB show make you a star? Hell you can star in every show the WB carries and not be a star. Oh Faye I hope that you fire your management at once! Remember Cher's info-mercial? This is right up there with that!
We Are The World: Former supergroup USA For Africa plan to reissue their 1985 Grammy-winning single "We Are the World" Feb. 1 to raise money for tsunami victims. I know this is for charity and I appreciate this, but I think it is FAR more charitable to never let us hear this song again! That would be REAL charity!
Christian Slater: He escaped a knife attack Friday after his stage performance in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in London. Slater's bodyguard is said to have taken the brunt of the attack, but the knife only penetrated his clothing, not his skin. Curse that attacker and his piss poor aim!
Debbie Gibson: Oh I am sorry...it is Deborah now. Anyways, Debbie is posing in the March issue of Playboy. I wonder if she uses the same brilliant management team as Faye Dunnaway. They are reviving careers left and right! Look out Hollywood!
Madonna: Before Paris Hilton's Tinkerbell and Britney Spears' Bit Bit, Madonna took her three Chihuahuas Evita, Rosita, and Chiquita everywhere in the '90s, but after a while, the Material Girl got rid of the doggies, which later ended up in bad shape at a Chihuahua Rescue in Burbank, California. "Rosita's face had been beaten in and unfortunately she died," a volunteer at the shelter revealed to In Touch magazine. "I'm sure Madonna thought they would be fine, but it wasn't so." Fortunately, Evita and Chiquita are still doing fine after being placed in a loving foster home. Wow. It must take a special person and true animal lover to buy up some doggies on a trendy whim and feign love for them in music videos & photo ops, then just get rid once they've 'served their purpose.' My respect grows. I hope for Madge's soul's sake that she wasn't the one responsible for the head-bashing. I believe there's a special place in hell, or KabHellah or whatever, for animal abusers.
Robin Williams: Enough already with the hyper kinetics! Calm down. Everytime you see a TV Camera or Microphone you do not need to be so over the top. Take a pill Patch Adams, we are tired of it.
Pamela Anderson: Ever seen this bitch without makeup? The fright of it will take YEARS off your life. If all of your looks and best features are manufacturered or implanted can you really be sexy? I also think that telling the general public that you have a sexually transmitted case of Hepatitus is a bit tacky. Anyone with me on that?
Tara Reid: She tells Access Hollywood that her wardrobe malfunction at P. Diddy's 35th birthday party last year was entirely accidental. "I swear to you, I had no idea that had happened," Reid said on the show Thursday. "I had a fur coat on, so when I took the coat off, the coat was heavy, and the strap came out with the coat." Umm Tara, how does this explain that your tit was hanging out in the breeze and you didn't notice it? Could it have been all the drugs you were on? just a guess.
Christian Conservative Groups: They are claiming that SpongeBob SquarePants, Barney and other children's favorites have been enlisted in a "pro-homosexual video" that seeks to "indoctrinate children to accept homosexuality." The music video in question is a remake of the hit 1979 song "We Are Family" and is designed to encourage tolerance and diversity, according to its creators, the We Are Family foundation. Are you kidding me? Now we cannot even promote TOLERANCE and DIVERSITY? This world is f*cked up!
Mariah Carey: Her latest album, The Emancipation of Mimi, to be released on Island Def Jam on April 12. Her new single "It's Like That" is this week's Hot Shot Debut on the Billboard Hot 100. This mess just needs to hang it up. No one wants to hear her coo over a guest rapper anymore. Either sing a real song or go home Ms. Carey. Oh...and P.S. We are TIRED of your ghetto fabulous image.
Star Jones Reynolds: She has signed on as host of E! Entertainment's Live From the Red Carpet awards show specials. Jones Reynolds will be hosting E!'s preshow coverage of the SAG Awards , the Grammys and the Academy Awards. Let the suck ass begin!
Bill O'Reilly: Fox News is enough of a joke without this pompous idiot helping. He needs help.
Kelsey Grammer, Hilary Duff, Gloria Estefan and Ruben Studdard: They will be performing at President George W. Bush's inauguration. Supporting a lying murderer is SO patriotic.
Ashley Simpson's Orange Bowl Performance: She claims that her heavily-booed performance at the Orange Bowl was due to technical difficulties and her pro-USC stance. Now Ashley...It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that YOU SUCK could it?
Star Jones-Reynolds hosting the Red Carpet @ the Golden Globes on E!: If I hear about her wedding ONE more time...! This fat bitch needs to put a sock in it! She did nothing but kiss ass the entire time.
Scarlett Johansson: She is one classy gal! Instead of riding in the limo to the Golden Globes she had it pull her trailer.
Virginia Madsen: Now normally I like her, but good christ if you have a homemade prison tattoo COVER it with makeup if you are going to walk the red carpet at an awards show. Did she ride to the event with fellow classy gal Scarlett Johansson? Maybe she followed her in some sort of white trash convoy.
Madonna: She performed live on the Tsunami Aid telethon. She looked flawless (work done sweetie?) but she sounded AWFUL. She sucked all emotion out of John Lennon's powerful and moving "Imagine". Ben Stein could not have sung that song with any more monotone than Madonna did. A+ for appearance, D- for performance. Can we get a little effort next time Mo?
Fox, The FCC & George W. Bush: Fox digitally blurred out the exposed ass of a cartoon character on a repeat of The Family Guy this Sunday. This episode has been shown many times in the past 5 years with NO issues. People it was a cartoon depiction of buttocks! We see naked babies in diaper commercials... is that Kiddie Porn? Apparently Fox is so afraid of the FCC they added the blurring to prevent any complaints. How sad is this country becoming? We are losing our grasp on freedom way too fast these days. Thanks again Mr. President! This country is in GREAT shape since you took over! We need to be very afraid of the route we are traveling.
Mark Burnett and Donald Trump: They are developing The Apprentice: The Musical, according to the Hollywood Reporter. Burnett is writing the book for the musical and several songs are already written. "It's a love story," Burnett said. "It's very inspirational." Who the hell thought THIS was a good idea? Just a hint guys.... if it looks like disaster and sounds like disaster..I am guessing it probably is. The only thing bigger than Donald Trump's ego is that mess of tan cotton candy he calls hair.
Inauguration: $40 MILLION DOLLARS. To honor a lying murderer. I am telling ya folks... Armageddon is coming! God has got to be pissed.
Ruben Studdard: For God Sake put down the RIBS and back away from the Buffet! If you cannot walk across a stage without sweating and panting you are too FAT for showbiz.
Beyonce's Hair Color Commercials: If you are trying to sell hair dye shouldn't you atleast have your OWN hair and not a bad weave? Just a thought.
Aaron Carter: Just read online that his SUV burst into flames BUT he escaped safely. DAMN.
Star Jones-Reynolds: Just saw a pic of her in a tie die pant suit on some beach in Star Magazine. She is a total MESS. Someone roll this whale back into the water she has beached herself!
Clay Aiken: "Gay" Aiken is more like it. His first album is great, but he has morphed into this typical diva bitch. A young Elton John in the making. Just shut up and sing. P.S. Come out already we all know you are gay.
Chynna Doll: This FREAK is now on VH1's The Surreal Life. I am amazed at how she manages to hide her penis in tight pants. She is a man. We all know it. I can only imagine the loser who married this petite flower.
Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer: TRAIN WRECK. Verne is also on VH1's The Surreal Life. In episode 1 he gets wasted and naked and pees in the corner. There is nothing he can do at this point that can earn him any respect. He makes Chucky (the doll) seem like he has manners and class.
The Other 2 Girls in Destiny's Child: Remember the names of the Supremes? We don't either. Star in porn, set a house on fire, murder your manager & stylist (extra points for that!), just do SOMETHING to make a name for yourself QUICK! Get out of Beyonce's shadow before it is too late.
TrimSpa: Somehow I doubt that TrimSpa was the drug that got Anna Nicole slim.
Mariah Carey: (see Star Jones' comments above).
Kate Hudson: We already have Goldie...we do NOT need you.
Diana Ross: The show is over go home (DO NOT stop at a bar on the way).
Elton John: Tired Queen. Please shut up.
Donatella Versace: Her face looks like an old leather bag that was left out in the rain.
Cameron Diaz: (see Mariah Carey's comments above).
Catherine Zeta-Jones: 1st of all...you ARE NOT 29. 49 is more like it. On 2nd though see Cameron Diaz's comments above. I will leave this one alone for now.
Fitted Jeans: Having thin ankles DOES NOT MAKE YOU THIN. Fitted jeans were sewn by the Devil. NEVER wear them. If you have the choice of wearing fitted jeans and going naked....by all means GO NAKED.
Carnations: If a loved one gives you carnations; #1 they don't LOVE you & #2 they are cheap. Carnations are the bastard stepchild of flowers and giving them to someone is insulting.
Fear Factor: If I am going to eat the ass out of a goat you damn well better offer me more than a chance at winning $50,000. Everyone that pimps out their dignity to go on that show should be shot.
Angela Lansbury & Murder She Wrote: Everywhere this b*tch went people died. HELLO! She is killing them!
Ashley Simpson: I can't put my finger on it...but something just makes me want to beat her with a metal bat.
Gwenyth Paltrow: All that pretension crammed into a skinny white girl.
Madonna's Last Album: The ONLY listenable track was called "Nothing Fails"....pssst Madonna...THIS FAILS.
WalMart: Every trip to this gem of a store is like getting a free ticket to a WHITE TRASH convention.
Beyonce': Do NOT get me started. It would be easier to list what is "right" about her.
People @ Clubs with Glow Sticks: The day we find out Glow Sticks cause cancer will be one of the happiest days in my life.
Star Jones - (see Beyonce's comments above).
Star Jones' "Husband": You should start a club with Liza's "Husband". Maybe if Oprah ever "marries" Stedman he can join too.
Tara Reid: Since when did being a drunken whore qualify you to be a celebrity?
CSI: All that pretension crammed into 1 hour.
George W. Bush: 'nuff said.
Ghetto Fabulous: There is NOTHING fabulous about being Ghetto. Have some class.
Arnold Shwarzeneger & Maria Shriver: He is a TOTAL joke (let's elect Carrot Top next!) and why does she look so much like Skeletor?
Corporate Radio: never listen to it...makes me sick.
Faux Paint Techniques: If you cant afford a REAL marble foyer...do not try to FAKE it. It doesn't look real and it is NOT fooling anyone.
NT color=aqua>There is a new epesode of Totally Spies on Cartoon Network @ 6:00 every day!!